Slight moment of venting...

Hay Bells,   Feelings are neither wrong nor right, they are what they are.........You have every right to feel the way you do, and she does also......If it were my best friend  I would let her know how sad I am because of missing this wonderfully day and to take a lot of pictures and you will of your surgery and set up a day to talk and remember..........   I am real sad that both of you will miss each others BIG DAY.  One of my best friends live in another state and she had her surgery 2 1/2 years ago and I wasn't their and haven't been able to see each other for a long time, and she wasn't able to be at my surgery...........So when I lose most of my weight I am planning a trip to see her and the family............ TO ALL THE BEST FREINDS IN THE WORLD............. Annabelle...............

Those are great ideas! Thanks Annabelle!!!


Shells

Hey Shells...although it hurts what she said to you, I have this to say too:

There is so much missed in emails and posts...no inflections in the voice....zippo which a lot of times leads us to jumping to conclusions.

Both events are ginormous to the both of you. I do not know where she stands on your wls....could be she is upset about it because she knows you are going to change and she also is not blind and deaf to the media of life after wls. Also she could be fearful that it is surgery too and people get all weird.

I am saying you need to talk with her. Don't respond in email and do not respond out of anger. Let her say what she has to say. Then you can let her know that although she is a very important person to you, your health is even more important and that you want to be around to celebrate a whole lot of birthdays with her.

I am telling you Shells, I would have had that initial reaction too...we are human. Your emotions are running high right now and you have a lot to absorb and wrap your thoughts around.....give her a chance and I know you can....you seem like a super level head girl!!!

Have a great Sunday!  

I bet you're right, she knows one other person (via her mom) who has had the surgery but it is very different when it someone so close to you. Thank you for that! Also, I was planning to call her as soon as I had a few moments to sit and talk uninterrupted and ALSO once I was "over it" LOL. Thanks Janine!


Shells

Hey Shells, Not to sound like a parrot here but I completely agree with what Janine just said. You two need to talk this out.  Love ya Sue

Aye aye cap'n! LOL

*hugs*


Shells

Shells......

I think what you need to do is call her, tell how sorry you are that you will miss that day, but not the year. That you will come and see her in a few months and that you will take her to dinner.

Luana

I was totally thinking about heading out in a few months to belatedly celebrate! I wonder if I could coordinate it with her Mom (who also lives near Vegas) and make it a surprise? FOod for thought....lol.

Thank you Lu!


Shells

Never let an old friend get away

Hold her tight

No over reacting.  She doesn't realize how important that this surgery is.  Tell her that you will be around for her 31st and alot more of her birthdays because of this surgery.  Maybe you can go the week before and celebrate with her.   Sorry that she reacts that way, I know it makes you feel bad, just ask her for her support because you are going to need it throughout this surgery.  Give her a call.  If she is still upset, then I would certainly wonder how good of a friend she is that she would think a birthday is more important than your health and well being.  I also didn't think that 30 was a big deal, it's the 40th that was a biggie for me.  Everyone is different.  Communications is the key as everyone else has said. Hugs, Diane